








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2235 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2457 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2940 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1836 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,244 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marcel | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | HOLIDAYS | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | bromeq | 56% | 86 |
| #4 | KUBES | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | cytrus | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KUBES | 29 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | Maćko | 24 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | bromeq | 15 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Nate Higgers | 15 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | HOLIDAYS | 13 | 0.0176 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KUBES | 447 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | Maćko | 353 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | Nate Higgers | 240 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | marcel | 221 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | bromeq | 188 | 0.11 | 5 min |





