








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2100 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1457 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1895 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 830 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,262,728 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Waifer123 | 45% | 183 |
| #6 | Avve | 45% | 62 |
| #7 | TYPE SHIT | 41% | 54 |
| #8 | Sergeant Spray n Pray | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | Diesel | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYPE SHIT | 156 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bjorn Ironside | 151 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Diesel | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | gargamel | 73 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Waifer123 | 52 | 0.01 | 1 min |





