








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2371 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1834 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1787 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,446 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pesimendi | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Jacke | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Pop Smoke | 59% | 93 |
| #4 | Profesor | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | moron ultimate | 56% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pop Smoke | 59% | 93 |
| #4 | Profesor | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | moron ultimate | 56% | 89 |
| #6 | Chujogrzmot | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | Archmage [VC] | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archmage [VC] | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Pop Smoke | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Chujogrzmot | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | moron ultimate | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Jacke | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archmage [VC] | 242 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pop Smoke | 217 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Chujogrzmot | 157 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | moron ultimate | 125 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Profesor | 113 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chujogrzmot | +2.12 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Patrychu | +1.08 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | moron ultimate | +0.39 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Pop Smoke | +0.17 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | pesimendi | +0.06 | 66 | 71 |





