








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 761 | 24% |
| Smokes | 775 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 944 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 641 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,754 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archmage [VC] | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Patrychu | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | moron ultimate | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Chujogrzmot | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Pop Smoke | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Patrychu | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | moron ultimate | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Chujogrzmot | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Pop Smoke | 49% | 91 |
| #6 | Jacke | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrychu | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Pop Smoke | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Archmage [VC] | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Chujogrzmot | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pop Smoke | 187 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Patrychu | 139 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jacke | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Archmage [VC] | 59 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | moron ultimate | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chujogrzmot | +2.67 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Patrychu | +1.37 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | moron ultimate | +1.26 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | Archmage [VC] | +0.52 | 55 | 65 |
| #5 | Pop Smoke | -0.26 | 72 | 55 |





