








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 25 | 8% |
| Smokes | 171 | 56% |
| HE Grenades | 56 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 54 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,577 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sergei Køstya | 2 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Kakel | 2 | 0.0196 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ J0jje | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sergei Køstya | 27 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Axelerino1 | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Ostron | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lenness | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ J0jje | +3.12 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | ✪ Axelerino1 | +0.29 | 48 | 56 |
| #3 | oskarmoped | +0.05 | 84 | 22 |
| #4 | Kakel | -0.01 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | Ostron | -0.60 | 55 | 36 |





