








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3965 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3377 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3324 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3309 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,283,961 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoTimeToExplain | 54% | 63 |
| #2 | 212 <eSPe'> | 46% | 103 |
| #3 | Mordillo | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Kapp4 | 43% | 63 |
| #5 | bob | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoTimeToExplain | 54% | 63 |
| #2 | 212 <eSPe'> | 46% | 103 |
| #3 | Mordillo | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Kapp4 | 43% | 63 |
| #5 | bob | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 212 <eSPe'> | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | NoTimeToExplain | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Mordillo | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 212 <eSPe'> | 449 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | NoTimeToExplain | 246 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kapp4 | 57 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | bob | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mordillo | 25 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoTimeToExplain | +4.72 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | Nagyi | -0.78 | 46 | 69 |
| #3 | 212 <eSPe'> | -1.31 | 47 | 69 |
| #4 | bob | -2.73 | 40 | 56 |
| #5 | Kapp4 | -2.86 | 27 | 46 |





