








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 206 | 23% |
| Smokes | 286 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 232 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 157 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,018 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoTimeToExplain | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Nagyi | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | bob | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | Kapp4 | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoTimeToExplain | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Nagyi | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | bob | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | Kapp4 | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nagyi | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nagyi | 70 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | bob | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | NoTimeToExplain | 50 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kapp4 | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoTimeToExplain | +8.49 | 85 | 79 |
| #2 | Nagyi | +1.78 | 38 | 73 |
| #3 | bob | -1.67 | 41 | 51 |
| #4 | Kapp4 | -2.14 | 31 | 36 |
| #5 | Mordillo | -4.06 | 39 | 38 |





