








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 403 | 18% |
| Smokes | 826 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 508 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $285,839 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ki11erc00kie | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Chimbo | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | 𝙎𝙝𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣 | 55% | 96 |
| #4 | Mr Nesw | 51% | 79 |
| #5 | TheFattNutt | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝙎𝙝𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣 | 55% | 96 |
| #4 | Mr Nesw | 51% | 79 |
| #5 | TheFattNutt | 50% | 74 |
| #6 | limpbizkitfan3000 | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Wazz | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙎𝙝𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣 | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Mr Nesw | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | TheFattNutt | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Ki11erc00kie | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Wazz | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙎𝙝𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣 | 237 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | TheFattNutt | 182 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr Nesw | 165 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ki11erc00kie | 94 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chimbo | 21 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay | +3.68 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | Chimbo | +1.03 | 74 | 49 |
| #3 | Mr Nesw | +0.53 | 70 | 39 |
| #4 | 𝙎𝙝𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣 | -0.52 | 65 | 59 |
| #5 | Ki11erc00kie | -1.00 | 75 | 69 |





