








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 810 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1298 | 24% |
| Smokes | 912 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1409 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,580,027 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LumpyCrabZ | 58% | 53 |
| #2 | Rasta rat | 48% | 93 |
| #3 | milliampz | 47% | 558 |
| #4 | harls45 | 45% | 132 |
| #5 | De_Stone | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rasta rat | 48% | 93 |
| #3 | milliampz | 47% | 558 |
| #4 | harls45 | 45% | 132 |
| #5 | De_Stone | 44% | 54 |
| #6 | Hydroxi123 | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milliampz | 23 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Rasta rat | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Hydroxi123 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | De_Stone | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | LumpyCrabZ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milliampz | 1728 | 0.15 | 49 min |
| #2 | harls45 | 382 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Rasta rat | 244 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | De_Stone | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hydroxi123 | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LumpyCrabZ | +3.51 | 75 | 33 |
| #2 | De_Stone | +1.63 | 38 | 61 |
| #3 | Rasta rat | +0.71 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | Hydroxi123 | +0.66 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | milliampz | +0.27 | 56 | 60 |





