








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1728 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2475 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2135 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2023 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,895 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | en kjekk kar | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Kirikirikirie | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Peppa Pig | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | FnuggetMeister | 47% | 192 |
| #5 | Mattha c: | 47% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattha c: | 31 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Kirie | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | FnuggetMeister | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Peppa Pig | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Llama Drama | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattha c: | 517 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | FnuggetMeister | 272 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kirie | 209 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Llama Drama | 160 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | en kjekk kar | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirikirikirie | +2.47 | 58 | 73 |
| #2 | Kirie | +1.79 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | Lil Juan | +0.74 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | en kjekk kar | +0.58 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | FnuggetMeister | +0.46 | 56 | 50 |





