








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1106 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1240 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1562 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1055 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,706 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirie | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Lil Juan | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | ZoomPix | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | FnuggetMeister | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Grav Inspektør | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattha c: | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Kirie | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Peppa Pig | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Step sis Albedo | 4 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | FnuggetMeister | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattha c: | 184 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | FnuggetMeister | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lil Juan | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kirie | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ZoomPix | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step sis Albedo | +2.01 | 66 | 39 |
| #2 | Lil Juan | +1.99 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | ZoomPix | +1.73 | 45 | 57 |
| #4 | Kirie | +1.61 | 62 | 71 |
| #5 | FnuggetMeister | +1.24 | 59 | 56 |





