








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 749 | 22% |
| Smokes | 812 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1019 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 814 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,327 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Larry | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | jepulis | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Taigajj | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Leiska | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Rahamies | 47% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rahamies | 47% | 81 |
| #6 | Paikallinen Narkomaani | 45% | 132 |
| #7 | Diif | 45% | 42 |
| #8 | juksu | 43% | 100 |
| #9 | ana | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paikallinen Narkomaani | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Rahamies | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Diif | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Taigajj | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | juksu | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taigajj | 297 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Paikallinen Narkomaani | 257 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Diif | 113 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | juksu | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Leiska | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jepulis | +3.10 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | Leiska | +1.79 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | Mr.Larry | +1.50 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | Taigajj | +1.27 | 73 | 81 |
| #5 | juksu | +1.16 | 80 | 50 |





