








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3716 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3761 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4013 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3730 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,373,937 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiero | 50% | 106 |
| #2 | 𝕂𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕠 | 49% | 189 |
| #3 | ShitHeaD | 45% | 86 |
| #4 | MrAngryPacifist ᓚᘏᗢ | 44% | 63 |
| #5 | KONI | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ShitHeaD | 45% | 86 |
| #4 | MrAngryPacifist ᓚᘏᗢ | 44% | 63 |
| #5 | KONI | 34% | 32 |
| #6 | BibiTheKeks | 33% | 30 |
| #7 | HTTP.Error418 | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiero | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | ShitHeaD | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | 𝕂𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕠 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | MrAngryPacifist ᓚᘏᗢ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | HTTP.Error418 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕂𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕠 | 324 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Hiero | 318 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | MrAngryPacifist ᓚᘏᗢ | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ShitHeaD | 21 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | HTTP.Error418 | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Darkvision | +2.32 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | 𝕂𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕠 | +0.96 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | Hiero | +0.23 | 30 | 49 |
| #4 | MrAngryPacifist ᓚᘏᗢ | -0.53 | 67 | 54 |
| #5 | ShitHeaD | -1.04 | 59 | 27 |





