








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 218 | 45% |
| Smokes | 137 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 104 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,920 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | obj704 | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Sparagious Quantevell Jr | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | qu'ils mangent des תבשיל ע | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | obj704 | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Sparagious Quantevell Jr | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | qu'ils mangent des תבשיל ע | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparagious Quantevell Jr | 4 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparagious Quantevell Jr | 134 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | junior | 50 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #3 | qu'ils mangent des תבשיל ע | 28 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | obj704 | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | +2.72 | 73 | 72 |
| #2 | qu'ils mangent des תבשיל ע | +1.76 | 91 | 73 |
| #3 | feng | +1.62 | 89 | 33 |
| #4 | Sparagious Quantevell Jr | +0.89 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | obj704 | +0.47 | 58 | 73 |





