








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6512 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5861 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5581 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4447 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,816,694 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 691 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIDS | 55% | 439 |
| #2 | NotSoEasyBTW | 54% | 459 |
| #3 | Clips | 54% | 390 |
| #4 | Marvin Beak | 52% | 82 |
| #5 | GhostBong | 39% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIDS | 55% | 439 |
| #2 | NotSoEasyBTW | 54% | 459 |
| #3 | Clips | 54% | 390 |
| #4 | Marvin Beak | 52% | 82 |
| #5 | GhostBong | 39% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clips | 39 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | NotSoEasyBTW | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | GhostBong | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | AIDS | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Marvin Beak | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIDS | 1440 | 0.16 | 45 min |
| #2 | NotSoEasyBTW | 1029 | 0.11 | 29 min |
| #3 | Clips | 603 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #4 | GhostBong | 290 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Marvin Beak | 181 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA F L A M E | +3.51 | 62 | 72 |
| #2 | NotSoEasyBTW | +2.34 | 43 | 71 |
| #3 | Marvin Beak | +1.24 | 40 | 70 |
| #4 | AIDS | -1.21 | 34 | 77 |
| #5 | GhostBong | -4.59 | 19 | 35 |





