








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 116 | 53% |
| Smokes | 33 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 32 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 36 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,015 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReaperMk | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | tiirt | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Fox_Lover | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | OriginalSteemName | 44% | 45 |
| #5 | Lieutenant Draid | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tiirt | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Fox_Lover | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | OriginalSteemName | 44% | 45 |
| #5 | Lieutenant Draid | 37% | 27 |
| #6 | Fusion Forge | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OriginalSteemName | 12 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Lieutenant Draid | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Fox_Lover | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Fusion Forge | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | ReaperMk | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OriginalSteemName | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lieutenant Draid | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fox_Lover | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fusion Forge | 19 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ReaperMk | 18 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OriginalSteemName | +0.61 | 54 | 59 |
| #2 | Lieutenant Draid | -0.04 | 45 | 40 |
| #3 | Smelly Femcel | -0.78 | 44 | 25 |
| #4 | Fox_Lover | -0.98 | 19 | 36 |
| #5 | ReaperMk | -1.13 | 10 | 37 |





