








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 337 matches | ||
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5645 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6404 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6514 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6508 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,977,664 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 570 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SpiN | 58% | 235 |
| #9 | kRYSTAL | 57% | 54 |
| #10 | eax | 56% | 216 |
| #11 | b M o 64.xe *MGK | 54% | 235 |
| #12 | sternsinger | 53% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedSlyer | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | eax | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | XAN1 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SpiN | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | kRYSTAL | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpiN | 1192 | 0.23 | 37 min |
| #2 | b M o 64.xe *MGK | 1018 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #3 | eax | 756 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #4 | RedSlyer | 530 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | kRYSTAL | 411 | 0.37 | 13 min |





