








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1651 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1638 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1312 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,908 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronnN | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Exory | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | LKWFahrer_300KMH | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | knobta | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | N3ptun | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | N3ptun | 46% | 69 |
| #6 | SyKo | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | ✪ smK. | 35% | 48 |
| #8 | FoW | 33% | 15 |
| #9 | MDJ | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knobta | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ✪ smK. | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | MDJ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Exory | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | FoW | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3ptun | 281 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Exory | 110 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | MDJ | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ smK. | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | knobta | 87 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LKWFahrer_300KMH | +3.68 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | SyKo | +2.63 | 90 | 74 |
| #3 | knobta | +1.52 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | N3ptun | +0.78 | 69 | 77 |
| #5 | ✪ smK. | +0.47 | 75 | 64 |





