








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2990 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1710 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1508 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1724 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,704 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | doppelzzzzzzzzzz | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | MichU | 51% | 51 |
| #7 | Oski♥ | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | Nester (młody pago) | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | Kasiula♥ | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MichU | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Oski♥ | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Kasiula♥ | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Nester (młody pago) | 2 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Specter | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MichU | 212 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Houdini13 | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Specter | 47 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | doppelzzzzzzzzzz | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nester (młody pago) | 39 | 0.21 | 1 min |





