








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1238 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2018 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1887 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,041 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | kubokubik 2亗 | 52% | 44 |
| #7 | clay1v__ | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | BEJK | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | kubokubik亗 | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | ✪ Pixel | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kubokubik亗 | 13 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | kubokubik 2亗 | 9 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | BEJK | 9 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Stíhač Potter | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | X-BOLT ✞ | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kubokubik亗 | 117 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | kubokubik 2亗 | 116 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | swyxzy | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | BEJK | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stíhač Potter | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |





