








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 264 | 44% |
| Smokes | 191 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 38 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 102 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $44,483 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1LSON | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | ⛟ ŁuÞoŝ ⛟ | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | eagle | 22% | 9 |
| #4 | onray | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | d0ne | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1LSON | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | ⛟ ŁuÞoŝ ⛟ | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | eagle | 22% | 9 |
| #4 | onray | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | d0ne | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ ŁuÞoŝ ⛟ | 4 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | N1LSON | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | onray | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1LSON | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | ⛟ ŁuÞoŝ ⛟ | 25 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | onray | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | d0ne | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | eagle | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ ŁuÞoŝ ⛟ | +5.21 | 95 | 57 |
| #2 | m1 | +2.18 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | d0ne | +1.15 | 45 | 68 |
| #4 | N1LSON | -1.75 | 50 | 59 |
| #5 | eagle | -2.56 | 74 | 47 |





