








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2835 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3610 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3494 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3001 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,710,004 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 突出Aimzy | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | Awesomez | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | Slipknoot | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | cage | 48% | 320 |
| #5 | Seppi | 48% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cage | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Saltypreme | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Knechter der Russenschweine | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Seppi | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | 突出Aimzy | 5 | 0.0044 |





