








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1543 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2623 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1634 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,368 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st- | 50% | 68 |
| #2 | rd- | 48% | 89 |
| #3 | od- | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | J0kk- | 46% | 116 |
| #5 | Remay | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rd- | 48% | 89 |
| #3 | od- | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | J0kk- | 46% | 116 |
| #5 | Remay | 35% | 17 |
| #6 | 尺ΣĐ | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rd- | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | od- | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | J0kk- | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | st- | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | 尺ΣĐ | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0kk- | 288 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | rd- | 135 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | 尺ΣĐ | 103 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | st- | 66 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | od- | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erazis | +1.71 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | rd- | +0.71 | 52 | 65 |
| #3 | J0kk- | +0.64 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | 尺ΣĐ | -0.45 | 50 | 52 |
| #5 | st- | -1.51 | 66 | 59 |





