








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2073 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 752 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 150 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4411 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6659 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8502 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 5048 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,202,942 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 597 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0kk- | 51% | 123 |
| #2 | st- | 51% | 762 |
| #3 | Remay | 50% | 230 |
| #4 | erazis | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | od- | 45% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st- | 45 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | od- | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | J0kk- | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Remay | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | erazis | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st- | 1076 | 0.07 | 26 min |
| #2 | J0kk- | 321 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | od- | 268 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Remay | 215 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | erazis | 135 | 0.07 | 4 min |





