








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 864 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6297 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7577 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7865 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6604 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,651,165 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 720 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreakMediaLP | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | BuSteD | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | n3matZ | 53% | 133 |
| #4 | Mokonsan | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | Ʀichtig Angry | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New | 402 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | ares | 342 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | ‡24‡ | 230 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | n3matZ | 177 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | blazze | 142 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ares | +3.68 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | BuSteD | +2.52 | 57 | 71 |
| #3 | Ʀichtig Angry | +1.84 | 50 | 68 |
| #4 | New | +1.78 | 57 | 81 |
| #5 | Richtig Angry | +1.53 | 42 | 71 |





