








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 812 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 612 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1254 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 498 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 884 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,760,287 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Él Pigeon | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Achalous | 49% | 73 |
| #3 | NotMrProtato | 46% | 185 |
| #4 | Arkodia | 33% | 33 |
| #5 | ricky d | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Él Pigeon | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Achalous | 49% | 73 |
| #3 | NotMrProtato | 46% | 185 |
| #4 | Arkodia | 33% | 33 |
| #5 | ricky d | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotMrProtato | 25 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ricky d | 9 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | Arkodia | 8 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | Achalous | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Él Pigeon | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotMrProtato | 613 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | ricky d | 123 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Achalous | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Arkodia | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Él Pigeon | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achalous | +4.96 | 73 | 31 |
| #2 | Arkodia | +1.83 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | NotMrProtato | +0.30 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | ricky d | -0.08 | 44 | 36 |
| #5 | Bartlett | -0.33 | 71 | 30 |





