








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4941 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6538 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3656 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4546 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,025,731 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mis amigoS | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Pancake Engineer | 50% | 274 |
| #3 | Zizuzywoo | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | KTNO | 42% | 106 |
| #5 | hojun_sex | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KTNO | 17 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Pancake Engineer | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | flimp | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | ꧅ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Zizuzywoo | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake Engineer | 334 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | KTNO | 189 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | hojun_sex | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | flimp | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mis amigoS | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mis amigoS | +4.87 | 90 | 50 |
| #2 | Zizuzywoo | +3.06 | 90 | 50 |
| #3 | hojun_sex | +0.60 | 65 | 54 |
| #4 | flimp | +0.32 | 60 | 49 |
| #5 | Pancake Engineer | +0.21 | 76 | 49 |





