








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 181 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1379 | 34% |
| Smokes | 934 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 898 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 826 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,205,031 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nebula | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Dr.Winter | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | cree | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | Connor | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | arnold cheddar | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zombiecats | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | not0riouS | 45% | 67 |
| #9 | 619 | 43% | 30 |
| #10 | Feelz | 43% | 56 |
| #11 | George | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not0riouS | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Feelz | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | 619 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Connor | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cree | 367 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | not0riouS | 182 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Feelz | 181 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | emer1tus | 144 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | 619 | 127 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cree | +1.39 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | George | +1.31 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | 619 | +0.69 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | oops | +0.38 | 74 | 50 |
| #5 | zombiecats | +0.08 | 68 | 53 |





