








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2570 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1664 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2305 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1775 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,865,210 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 392 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zonko | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Smoweev (Ἰμούθης) | 48% | 258 |
| #3 | .:: Thierry...80 ::. | 44% | 89 |
| #4 | Labrihamy Labramy | 44% | 62 |
| #5 | [E-Glouw] ELCIGOAT_ | 43% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smoweev (Ἰμούθης) | +5.27 | 51 | 47 |
| #2 | [E-Glouw] ELCIGOAT_ | +2.22 | 40 | 40 |
| #3 | [VRU] .:: Philou ::. | -0.05 | 25 | 50 |
| #4 | ♥ plantico ♥ | -0.38 | 38 | 47 |
| #5 | _at0mz_ | -0.43 | 45 | 17 |





