








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 555 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5621 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6651 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5309 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5986 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,716,233 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phyx | 54% | 94 |
| #2 | SolDawg | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | Aspire | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | Premium #cardboardbutthole | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phyx | 54% | 94 |
| #2 | SolDawg | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | Aspire | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | Premium #cardboardbutthole | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SolDawg | 11 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Aspire | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Premium #cardboardbutthole | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Phyx | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Premium #cardboardbutthole | 185 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Phyx | 144 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | SolDawg | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Aspire | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SolDawg | +2.23 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Premium #cardboardbutthole | +1.11 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | Phyx | +0.06 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Yoru ♡ | -0.39 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | Aspire | -1.66 | 46 | 44 |





