








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1334 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1495 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1381 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,945 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 477 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chuk | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | dog | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | frickhen #libidopeek | 55% | 127 |
| #4 | TWATSniffer #ChimkenNumgit | 54% | 84 |
| #5 | Psy | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Psy | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Phyx | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | SolDawg | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Aspire | 44% | 41 |
| #9 | Yoru ♡ | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frickhen #libidopeek | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | TWATSniffer #ChimkenNumgit | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Yoru ♡ | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Aspire | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Phyx | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TWATSniffer #ChimkenNumgit | 271 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | frickhen #libidopeek | 258 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Yoru ♡ | 172 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | SolDawg | 53 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Phyx | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chuk | +3.52 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | frickhen #libidopeek | +3.51 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | SolDawg | +2.28 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | Psy | +1.68 | 91 | 51 |
| #5 | TWATSniffer #ChimkenNumgit | +0.99 | 60 | 71 |





