








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 927 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1039 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1324 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1106 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,783 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byfahrer | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | ɹǝʇsᴉǝɯƃᴉnɹoz | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Philton L. | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | -McMawa- | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Schwalbe | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton L. | 2 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɹǝʇsᴉǝɯƃᴉnɹoz | 74 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Philton L. | 63 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | byfahrer | 45 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Schwalbe | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | -McMawa- | 18 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton L. | +3.57 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | byfahrer | +3.24 | 79 | 76 |
| #3 | ɹǝʇsᴉǝɯƃᴉnɹoz | +1.71 | 76 | 81 |
| #4 | sчяох | +0.70 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Schwalbe | -2.11 | 56 | 60 |





