








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6926 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6228 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5117 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5475 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,220,353 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Darksilver386 | 55% | 703 |
| #4 | Mazelinho | 53% | 215 |
| #5 | vESU | 53% | 300 |
| #6 | Cock | 52% | 357 |
| #7 | syx | 52% | 302 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vESU | 21 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Darksilver386 | 15 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | syx | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Mazelinho | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Cock | 8 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darksilver386 | 2089 | 0.16 | 52 min |
| #2 | vESU | 820 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | syx | 636 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | Cock | 504 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | Mazelinho | 249 | 0.06 | 7 min |





