








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1451 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2121 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2577 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1942 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,383 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Darksilver386 | 56% | 155 |
| #3 | vESU | 54% | 103 |
| #4 | Cock | 53% | 139 |
| #5 | PhiiL | 53% | 215 |
| #6 | syx | 53% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darksilver386 | 614 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | PhiiL | 525 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | vESU | 350 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | Cock | 239 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | syx | 203 | 0.12 | 5 min |





