








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,076 | |
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 39% |
| Smokes | 821 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 377 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,422 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BmZ | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | bjork | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Dananuh | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | kallej | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | kangez | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | pr0fessorn (tonyskater) | 46% | 26 |
| #13 | Thiag | 43% | 23 |
| #14 | tibbe | 42% | 19 |
| #15 | fr4ll3 | 38% | 29 |
| #16 | Lukz | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dananuh | +4.38 | 54 | 56 |
| #2 | .^.' Jimmy R. | +3.23 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | kangez | +3.01 | 77 | 78 |
| #4 | BmZ | +2.63 | 86 | 68 |
| #5 | bjork | +2.23 | 84 | 62 |





