








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2776 | 13% |
| Smokes | 7297 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5753 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5561 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,633 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | -=TF=- Esantrus | 40% | 73 |
| #10 | -=TF=- Neko10 | 40% | 230 |
| #11 | -=TF=-Fetzi die lustige Landmine | 39% | 210 |
| #12 | Bulls3ye | 38% | 60 |
| #13 | =TF=-yFluffi | 32% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=TF=-Fetzi die lustige Landmine | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | -=TF=- Abyssus | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | -=TF=- Neko10 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | -=TF=- MrPeggle die Tontaube | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | =TF=-yFluffi | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=TF=- Neko10 | 304 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | -=TF=- Abyssus | 225 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | -=TF=- MrPeggle die Tontaube | 221 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | -=TF=-Fetzi die lustige Landmine | 86 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bulls3ye | 66 | 0.06 | 2 min |





