








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 143 | 24% |
| Smokes | 76 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,872 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zail | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | S3TUP | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Maidenless :( | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Kobra | 63% | 32 |
| #5 | Kobra | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | S3TUP | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Maidenless :( | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Kobra | 63% | 32 |
| #5 | Kobra | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Jag | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S3TUP | 1 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | zail | 1 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S3TUP | 46 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kobra | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | zail | 14 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | Maidenless :( | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kobra | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kobra | +6.82 | 99 | 51 |
| #2 | Kobra | +5.75 | 94 | 54 |
| #3 | S3TUP | +1.01 | 74 | 84 |
| #4 | Marss hellcase.com | -1.43 | 79 | 42 |
| #5 | Jag | -1.84 | 86 | 11 |





