








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1098 | 39% |
| Smokes | 339 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 662 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,923 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | molly | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | Gangstalancy | 53% | 138 |
| #3 | Shreklord | 49% | 135 |
| #4 | Gyrostill | 46% | 84 |
| #5 | Kratospot | 40% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gangstalancy | 53% | 138 |
| #3 | Shreklord | 49% | 135 |
| #4 | Gyrostill | 46% | 84 |
| #5 | Kratospot | 40% | 131 |
| #6 | Pointshock | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kratospot | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Gangstalancy | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Shreklord | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | molly | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Gyrostill | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kratospot | 232 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gyrostill | 158 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gangstalancy | 128 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shreklord | 111 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | molly | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pointshock | +2.67 | 44 | 52 |
| #2 | KiwiRoyalty | +1.60 | 87 | 45 |
| #3 | molly | +0.62 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | Gyrostill | +0.25 | 25 | 57 |
| #5 | Kratospot | -0.18 | 31 | 51 |





