








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2971 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1604 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2370 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2617 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,560 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethanol | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Super_Potato | 42% | 50 |
| #3 | Badfumcace | 42% | 248 |
| #4 | MiniFridge | 40% | 202 |
| #5 | Budgysmuggler | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Badfumcace | 42% | 248 |
| #4 | MiniFridge | 40% | 202 |
| #5 | Budgysmuggler | 39% | 36 |
| #6 | Lman111 | 38% | 120 |
| #7 | Wolviiee | 27% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniFridge | 30 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Badfumcace | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Super_Potato | 14 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Lman111 | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Wolviiee | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniFridge | 474 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Badfumcace | 289 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Super_Potato | 176 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lman111 | 132 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Budgysmuggler | 100 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethanol | +5.91 | 62 | 49 |
| #2 | MiniFridge | +5.37 | 81 | 39 |
| #3 | Budgysmuggler | +2.10 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | Lman111 | +1.41 | 48 | 53 |
| #5 | Super_Potato | -0.78 | 15 | 47 |





