








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1016 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 851 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5379 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8312 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5158 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5167 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,053,230 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lman111 | 48% | 376 |
| #2 | PIKEY | 47% | 537 |
| #3 | Badfumcace | 46% | 115 |
| #4 | Super_Potato | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | MiniFridge | 45% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Badfumcace | 46% | 115 |
| #4 | Super_Potato | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | MiniFridge | 45% | 259 |
| #6 | Ethanol | 44% | 48 |
| #7 | Wolviiee | 33% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super_Potato | 23 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | PIKEY | 22 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | MiniFridge | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Lman111 | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Wolviiee | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super_Potato | 668 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | MiniFridge | 445 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Lman111 | 356 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #4 | PIKEY | 313 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | Wolviiee | 150 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniFridge | +2.61 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | Ethanol | +1.43 | 54 | 37 |
| #3 | PIKEY | +1.29 | 57 | 36 |
| #4 | Budgysmuggler | +0.37 | 52 | 50 |
| #5 | Lman111 | -0.47 | 45 | 54 |





