








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1692 | 40% |
| Smokes | 467 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1854 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,897 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴋᴇᴠᴇɴ ɴɢᴜʏᴇɴ | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | sax | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | weeb_whacker #JENIUS | 67% | 79 |
| #4 | bat muncher | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Leetify iTzSheldon-iwnl-✪℣ | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | weeb_whacker #JENIUS | 67% | 79 |
| #4 | bat muncher | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Leetify iTzSheldon-iwnl-✪℣ | 67% | 15 |
| #6 | dandy :3 | 59% | 66 |
| #7 | 𝒹𝐸𝒮𝑀𝒪𝒩𝒟 | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weeb_whacker #JENIUS | 22 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | dandy :3 | 18 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | bat muncher | 12 | 0.0558 |
| #4 | Leetify iTzSheldon-iwnl-✪℣ | 9 | 0.0363 |
| #5 | ᴋᴇᴠᴇɴ ɴɢᴜʏᴇɴ | 8 | 0.0245 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weeb_whacker #JENIUS | 361 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | dandy :3 | 181 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | 𝒹𝐸𝒮𝑀𝒪𝒩𝒟 | 52 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | ᴋᴇᴠᴇɴ ɴɢᴜʏᴇɴ | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Leetify iTzSheldon-iwnl-✪℣ | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴋᴇᴠᴇɴ ɴɢᴜʏᴇɴ | +4.84 | 73 | 46 |
| #2 | weeb_whacker #JENIUS | +3.65 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | eric | +2.69 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | Leetify iTzSheldon-iwnl-✪℣ | +1.70 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | 𝒹𝐸𝒮𝑀𝒪𝒩𝒟 | +1.16 | 63 | 36 |





