








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1530 | 23% |
| Smokes | 994 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2111 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1898 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,706 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TONY | 62% | 130 |
| #2 | Stat | 59% | 266 |
| #3 | PerKLive | 55% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TONY | 62% | 130 |
| #2 | Stat | 59% | 266 |
| #3 | PerKLive | 55% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stat | 32 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | TONY | 24 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | PerKLive | 9 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stat | 230 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | PerKLive | 187 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | TONY | 174 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TONY | +4.42 | 78 | 43 |
| #2 | blindcoochi | +1.90 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | PerKLive | +1.17 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | Stat | +0.03 | 68 | 46 |





