








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 652 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 575 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 939 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,462 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redBull | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | BoT | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Lass | 47% | 77 |
| #4 | K9 Nate Higgers | 46% | 67 |
| #5 | Allux_100 | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Allux_100 | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | K9 Nate Higgers | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Lass | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | BoT | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Jerehell | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoT | 284 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jerehell | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Allux_100 | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lass | 69 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | K9 Nate Higgers | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redBull | +4.37 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Lass | +2.29 | 77 | 46 |
| #3 | 𝕽𝖞𝖗𝖇𝖔𝖑𝖙 | +0.37 | 73 | 46 |
| #4 | Jerehell | +0.11 | 58 | 37 |
| #5 | BoT | -0.48 | 60 | 58 |





