








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6815 | 46% |
| Smokes | 4470 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2343 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1216 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,192 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juicekid | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Halálfaló | 45% | 69 |
| #3 | itsmeblantos | 44% | 157 |
| #4 | Pallahdin | 43% | 81 |
| #5 | Hanzo | 41% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵛᵉʳʸʳᵃʳᵉĐSCNNCT⸸ | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | itsmeblantos | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Hanzo | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Juicekid | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Razen | 5 | 0.0046 |





