








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1002 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1393 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1180 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1039 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,509 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ᵛᵉʳʸʳᵃʳᵉĐSCNNCT⸸ | 44% | 66 |
| #8 | Hanzo | 42% | 109 |
| #9 | Halálfaló | 40% | 35 |
| #10 | Razen | 36% | 36 |
| #11 | Pallahdin | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵛᵉʳʸʳᵃʳᵉĐSCNNCT⸸ | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Hanzo | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | TheLittlePrince | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Juicekid | 6 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | Razen | 4 | 0.0054 |





