








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1176 | 30% |
| Smokes | 933 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1043 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 777 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,215 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skrubs0 | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | ֆʍɮ | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | MoneyDownTheDrain.com | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Kob | 56% | 81 |
| #5 | pj | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ֆʍɮ | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | MoneyDownTheDrain.com | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Kob | 56% | 81 |
| #5 | pj | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | NupidStigger2012 | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kob | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | MoneyDownTheDrain.com | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | NupidStigger2012 | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | pj | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ֆʍɮ | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kob | 158 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | MoneyDownTheDrain.com | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | pj | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ֆʍɮ | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | skrubs0 | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bbuster | +3.90 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | ֆʍɮ | +1.23 | 69 | 49 |
| #3 | pj | -1.34 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | Kob | -2.31 | 20 | 44 |
| #5 | MoneyDownTheDrain.com | -2.68 | 21 | 37 |





