








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1019 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9468 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8257 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5532 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6112 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,953 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1028 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papst.# | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Kazutoru_ | 55% | 135 |
| #3 | ☠👑The༒End👑☠ | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Nero | 52% | 84 |
| #5 | Kenny | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HumPs | 52% | 92 |
| #7 | andi | 52% | 54 |
| #8 | JL™ | 51% | 67 |
| #9 | Veganarchist | 50% | 153 |
| #10 | Sierra | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HumPs | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Veganarchist | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Kazutoru_ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Nero | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | andi | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veganarchist | 571 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Kazutoru_ | 520 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | JL™ | 258 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nero | 248 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | ☠👑The༒End👑☠ | 228 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | +1.48 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | fidel | +1.27 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | Kazutoru_ | +1.05 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | Papst.# | +0.75 | 87 | 67 |
| #5 | Sierra | +0.44 | 58 | 74 |





