








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 407 | 23% |
| Smokes | 490 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 388 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 460 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,375 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sKotone | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Pasi aka Stallone | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | NIPA | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | tugelele | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Osvaldo | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NIPA | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | tugelele | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Osvaldo | 64% | 11 |
| #6 | PetjaJ | 58% | 12 |
| #7 | SIMO | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pasi aka Stallone | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIMO | 82 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pasi aka Stallone | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | PetjaJ | 25 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Osvaldo | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | sKotone | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pasi aka Stallone | +2.74 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | PetjaJ | +1.11 | 58 | 71 |
| #3 | sKotone | +0.12 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | alr1k | -0.18 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | SIMO | -0.28 | 56 | 73 |





