








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2258 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2869 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2598 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3046 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,986,046 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5719 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floppy Disk | 64% | 66 |
| #2 | monkey mauno | 55% | 185 |
| #3 | speed demon | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | Måsen | 51% | 134 |
| #5 | puff9 | 50% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey mauno | 44 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | puff9 | 28 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Floppy Disk | 20 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | speed demon | 19 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | Stone | 15 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puff9 | 809 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | Floppy Disk | 359 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | Måsen | 327 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | stentrollet on 60hz | 259 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | Winton | 220 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floppy Disk | +3.48 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | Winton | +3.11 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | monkey mauno | +2.84 | 77 | 20 |
| #4 | puff9 | +2.77 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | speed demon | +2.42 | 80 | 21 |





