








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




140 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1058 | 20% |
| Smokes | 552 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2872 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,831 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Floppy Disk | 59% | 286 |
| #6 | Stone | 59% | 178 |
| #7 | ivan | 55% | 185 |
| #8 | miss.takie | 51% | 55 |
| #9 | Måsen | 51% | 59 |





